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Post by Kyle West on Apr 14, 2013 14:53:31 GMT
04 Eyes Off Bruiser has become a wholly unlikeable stereotypical stock character. He's not even unlikeable in the way he should be. There's just nothing to him. His lines, his actions, we've seen it all a thousand times before in various bad TV shows and movies. Bruiser was never designed to be a deep character, and I've got no worries if some people consider him a "stereotypical stock character". The main focus throughout volume 1 was Rover, Jason and Alice (somewhat), people like Bruiser (his name saying it all) filled more plot-driven roles. Comes down to personal preference, for the most part. Listen, I'm a tough SOB when it comes to unnecessary words in the action, just ask any of the people who have me as their beta currently, but at the same time a little personal touch is more than welcome within the writing. 9/10 times there probably is a much easier way to say something, but 1/10 times that's just how the writer wants to say it and that's that ultimately. Trust me, my writing is a lot more direct than it used to be back in 05-08 I think I addressed this in one of Tony Black's reviews, so I won't repeat myself here I think "bad habits" is a bit harsh in this instance, personally
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Post by Kyle West on Apr 14, 2013 14:58:25 GMT
05 Supermarket SweepThis episode was a notable step up from the last one in terms of pacing and action. We also got a lot more conflict, as well as some revealing things about Jason. I don't think anyone suspected he was just a student like he claimed so it's not a huge surprise but it does pose some interesting questions and something I look forward to seeing develop. We should see more sequences like these in future instalments, so glad you enjoyed. A fair question to ask. Personally, I think his reaction to Bobby's death is built somewhat out of his frustration at all those other things you mentioned. I don't think Jason was expecting this level of shit to deal with, even though he knew the country had gone to the dogs. I'm hoping to explore this a bit the next time we see Jason, so I won't spoil too much right now.
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Post by Angry Octopus on Apr 14, 2013 15:03:55 GMT
I think "bad habits" is a bit harsh in this instance, personally Sorry, I didn't mean it to come across like that. I was speaking more in a general term, rather than you specifically, and I guess it only really applies to those who have dreams of making it with scriptwriting. It's tough to review, as I'm more industry-standard than 'virtual series,' so when I see writing or habits that would usually set a script back with other writers and those in (or that are a part of somehow) the industry, I automatically try to point them out in case the writer isn't aware. If that doesn't bother you, just ignore all that. I think maybe I'll ask in future what the writer wants in terms of a review and it might make it better.
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Post by Kyle West on Apr 14, 2013 15:06:46 GMT
06 Where Are The Weapons?So the final instalment brings us full circle, back to where we started. Unfortunately I found this quite a weak final chapter in this particular story, a story I'm not sure entirely worked beyond the first episode. Sorry you feel that way, though I'm slightly confused considering you said that certain other episodes were an improvement on the first episode :S A slight side effect from how I left things at the end of the last episode I think, as we obviously knew Jason would get talked down from shooting Rover at that moment in time. I think you're right that perhaps some momentum was lost as a result. Wasn't really meant as a twist so to speak, as I'd thought it was pretty much hinted at in the first two episodes. Likely why you found it predictable, saying that. Answers will come which should hopefully explain all of this Thank you for the thoughtful reviews, always enjoyable to read The show will hopefully be back with its second set of episodes next month, so not long to go.
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Post by Kyle West on Apr 14, 2013 15:10:11 GMT
It's tough to review, as I'm more industry-standard than 'virtual series,' so when I see writing or habits that would usually set a script back with other writers and those in (or that are a part of somehow) the industry, I automatically try to point them out in case the writer isn't aware. If that doesn't bother you, just ignore all that. I think maybe I'll ask in future what the writer wants in terms of a review and it might make it better. Fear not, I know when I'm crossing the line between industry standard and excessive amateur writer description...just whilst I'm producing for this specific medium, I'm a bit more loose with my style. Within reason though, of course. The comments are of course appreciated though, nonetheless
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Post by Angry Octopus on Apr 14, 2013 15:17:14 GMT
Sorry you feel that way, though I'm slightly confused considering you said that certain other episodes were an improvement on the first episode :S I can see how that comes across. I think things look a different in retrospect though. As I was going along, there were spikes of intrigue and momentum, and then it fell. Like a bumpy road, I guess! The first episode still holds up as the best, overall. Maybe because it introduced us to this world and there was a lot of groundwork being made. But there were other episodes that were stronger in different regards (character development and action-wise). No worries. Although it may seem a bit negative, I still enjoyed the ride. The setup of any ongoing story is always the hardest to tackle and this is pretty much a pilot episode, so to speak. So with that burden out of the way, I'm sure the next second set will be even better.
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